The one about "How to burn in hell"

When someone tells u go to hell, what should u do ?
I never really went there before, but some people say it is not really fun.
Is it hard to go there? Do we need a map or sth ? We have a nearby "Satan's Mall" and I can ask Mr. Devil
Does it need much gasoline to keep that place burning, or do they use some nuclear station or a protoplasmic engine.
Is heat distributed uniformly all over the place?? Do they have low temperature and high temperature areas. Can I enter High Temp. Areas without having a VIS card (Very Important Sinner) ?

I heard about some of the offered services:
Burn in hell to death
Low Burn in hell (BRONZAGE)
Burn in hell you and all your family
Burn in hell you and all your friends
Burn in hell you and her Burn in hell with your ideas
Burn in hell with your principles
Burn in hell with a direct view to HEAVEN

I don't know if I can afford such a trip, but I can recommend some cheaper ones.
These include driving in the traffic jam of the Jordan university street where u can actually Burn in CAR, or even burning in public transportations.
Or making something creative, then burning you and your ideas cause no one gives a HELL DAMN.

The thing that really amazes me, is that you can find creative people who can think out of the HELL and yet better, Get the HELL out of you :D
So why to burn in hell which can cost you lots of sins at the time u can burn here on earth free of charge. Ok, Venus is a better place for burning for sure, but I cannot afford the spaceship.
I read once that :"Diplomacy is being able to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip"

Well, we have political hell, don't we?
It's very hot these days, it feels like hell.
What temperature scale is used up there? ah BTW is it up there or down there ??????