Nader's Blog

Friday, October 14, 2005

Complexity: a 2-Dimensional Point of View

Some things are just too complex for words to explain, so silence would be a better option.
I always had complex thoughts to describe even the simplest small events. I like to build thoughts and combine them to form a conspiracy theory for each situation or incident.
Over years, this helped me to build complex feelings. People call it arrogance, but it is there.
Someone may come and ask a simple question as in "Why are not you in the mood?", or, "why sad?" , and I really feel like answering, but really can't find the right words.
What is "the mood" you are talking about ? I never had a mood and don't think I'll ever have one.
People can be angry or happy or sad. But I forget a lot. Forget as in FORGET. I forget why I am angry or sad. I don't remember anything. All I think of is how to integrate the new AI engine in our next project, or how to put the next agile modeling technique into practice. I feel everyone going for argeeleh (hubbly bubbly) or playing cards has nothing really to do in life. I know they are not,but still, that's what I feel.
Smoking is one thing that I disgrace and hate so bad, and I mean so MUCH. I feel that all smokers are people without inner peace. I hate to see people smoking or having argeeleh. It just makes me feel bad each time. Why is this the only thing the youth care for. Smoking and playing cards and girls, and don't let me start with the girls thing. Women ask for rights, but believe me they have it all. Women here have more power and influence more than any other place in the world, and I don't mean politics, cause actually no cares about politics anymore, I haven't even read a newspaper since a month now.
Ignorance is tightly integrated with complexity. Ignoring and forgetting everything that bothers you. You see something but you cannot describe or discuss your feelings about it, WHY? Because it is too complicated to be described. That makes you so silent, with nothing to talk about, nothing to say, nothing to share, and worse, no response to events, no negative feelings, no positive feelings, no neutral feelings, you become so empty, so boring, so FLAT. Yah, flat, 2-dimensional, like a carpet from a top-view, no , like a "super thread", zero height and zero thickness. Insignificant and just another one of a bunch.
You spend your time creating a complex set of feelings and interact with it within yourself, creating your own inner world , your inner community, become more and more silent, integrate yourself with silence.
Loose feelings towards the world, moon and stars no longer mean any thing, just lighting spots up there, u see the moon in 2-D, you no longer feel its circularity or roundness.
Feel like sleeping and forgetting and ignoring. Loosing Control of your inner-created-world.
I'm so silent lately, so boring, even I find myself boring, I feel like saying nothing, just imitate and build compound ideas. Ideas that never shows, cause it is buried inside.
I really need a hug, a simple one :)

Music Mood: - No Music Mood-

22 Comments:

A BIF HUG LIKE THE WORLD for U!!!

By Blogger Tutti, at 2:52 AM  

You know Nader if you think there's something wrong with you you're mistaken, it's not you it's the depressing life we live, the depressing world we live in. You recognize that, you were able to write and express yourself, I spent 6 months unable to say one word about how I feel or what is going on with me. Keep it in your mind, life is tough and not all of people are as moral, smart and sincere so deal with it!

Get angry if you must, abandon your projects or at least take as many breaks as you can and pamper yourself,no matter how you love your projects your soul needs love more.

I don't think you're complicating things. Next time be more specific, write about whatever bothers you even if you think its unworthy or exagerated your opinion is always worthy Nader, what you feel is worthy and what you think is worthy.

There you go *hug*
feel better soon

By Anonymous SC, at 7:13 AM  

Nad as Sc said it life is not giving us a break nothin is goin in our direction. As a kid i used 2 enjoy everything even a bar of chocolate as simple as that.Now its like i go out with friends coz i am bored, while being thier i feel bored even though they are my friends,and later come back home even more bored. This is life cousin it lost its taste no meaning anymore. Everything beacame a routine a very boring one.I do feel with you and totally understand but dont think your boring coz when i think about it everyone is in a way or another. Hope you would feel better soon *Hug*.

By Blogger M!R@CHK@, at 10:50 AM  

dont let this life get u angry and if u want a hug the world is full with girls need hugs 2 :)

By Blogger gorge, at 7:34 PM  

Milla *HUG BACK*

SC, you won't believe how much i loved your comment, you are very right, saying it helped a lot.
All I can say is thank you *HUG*

Mirachka, "but dont think your boring coz when i think about it everyone is in a way or another"
IS THIS SOME SORT OF A COMPLIMENT :D
You are right about the friends thing, but still I have some people who can't get bored sitting with even in total silence, well, it is a ONE people :D
*HUG*

gorge, where are the gurls who need a *hug*, I can provide some :D

*Group HUG* Mirachka,SC,Milla,Nader and well a very small *HUG* for Roba (5'awa) :D

By Blogger Nader, at 9:24 AM  

hey cousin,well miramar u r right and i agree with u !and cousin life doest go the way we manage!! so try 2 have fun as much as u can u can find time :p
Tc. and a big *hug*:p
Ran.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:56 AM  

If one overlookks the nihilist tendencies exhibited in the essay... the following can be said:

It is very interesting to see the notion of "mood" being conceptually challenged and mitigated as it is pretty much entertaining for like-minded crude-in-essence mentalities...

Basically the issue with "mood" have more to do with "mood shifts" rather than the typical state-of-affairs where "mood" normally wouldn't be rubbed in one's face unless there was a sudden "mood shift" wither to a "good" or "bad" one...

Then comes the issue of complex thinking! And in my book, as long as the thought is in the mind; it is by definition comprehended by its bearer, virgin and cleansed from ambiguity, the complexity kicks in when one attempts to materialize the thought by uttering it out while being constrained by the limited terminology at one's disposal.

The beauty however is to be able to express the thought or ideal to an acknowledging recipient -the recipient might as well be one’s self-, this ability of expressing and sharing can range from a petty clumsy elaboration to a whopping eloquent paradigm!

This is what differentiates a prominent –influential one must add- thinker from a no-one-understands-me nut case locked in a mental institution, AND conjugate the latter with an anarchist willing to sabotage for the sake of his beliefs –or the absence of it- that -in his view point- are not understood by “others”

Perception is the center of it all, where people & vehicles look alike and more like ants on a 2-d plain when looking down from the top of the empire sta… LeRoyal hotel in Amman.

By Anonymous Basem, at 1:47 PM  

Group hug?? Where?? I want to joing please!! O.O'
Complicated title for a simple feeling description :) 3ala 2oolet il mathal ya Nader sahhilha btis-hal sa33ibha btis3ab!! mitel il mogheeta hehe ah bas hadeek kabbirha btikbar zaghirha btizghar! Whatever i think u got my point hehe!!

By Anonymous nadeen, at 1:08 AM  

hmmm....looks like this is a serious case of a forlorn loverboy blogging...errr....ehem...???

Cheers,
Ashwin

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each and every thing have two or more aspects. many a times we ignore the other side of the picture, that is really not done...

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Ignorance is tightly integrated with complexity. Ignoring and forgetting everything that bothers you.

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